Finding a partner

 Hi there... 

Happy to keep writing to you. This is a common big and not so big problem. Finding a partner. We are looking for someone outside us to be with us, to complete us or we are affraid to be alone or we just want to become like everybody else. Whatever it is the reason. It is our fate i think, our destiny to be with someone, to share life, to have connection in this world, to continue generation, haha... Funny isn't. It is our natural condition to want and be with someone. But I think the problem here is the reason behind it.

In this era where everything is availiable and because of that, we can easily give up and breakup if things get hard. So nothing last long 'is' our world now. Lot of situation nowdays that people are so desperate to find someone and get married, then divorce. Becuase the relation not serving them anymore. I'm not here to tell which one the right way to live a life. Just sharing the thing that i've got from studying and my own experience. 

Well i'm 29 now and married, but before that i've never been in a relationship, always looking for it, just couldn't find the right one i said to myself. Got some connection and i've always asking to myself is it good for long term, and i can always see the answer right away, if its not, i wont even enter the game. For example i could see i've got some connection with some close friend, and seems like he feels the same. But because i ask the question inside me, i always got the answer. And i listend. If the answer is no, I've always said the plesure now isn't worth it. Because i don't want to hurt the other person, or me both the player. So why wasting time. I remember i've always be open to all opportunity, but yeah... nothing not even one. Almost got one, not even start the game yet, but i'm ready, and can see the other player already start another game, so... when he said and ask to play, i said no thankyou. Got better things to do. 

Is not because i dont like the game, i just don't want to invest my time to play in the game with someone who is not all in to invest on the game too. So because i know that, i've never start a game where i know i wouldn't give my all. Because it such a waste. But i always be open, and always learn to make myself become a better person, i remember i said to my friend i love you all so much and you just a friend, what if i have a boyfriend, while laughing because i know i will love that person so deeply. 

So when i meet someone who want to play the game, and inviting me to play along, and i can see that he is investing everything in the game, firstly i'm shock, and then affraid, and then i ask a question again to myself, then my quick answer is 'comon you've got nothing to loose, just play along, wouldn't hurt anybody' and what's the future anyway, just enjoy your time. so i play along. I've never put anything before i said yes i will play the game, becasue i don't want to put anything on it like a pressure we have to be together and get married ect, i love him and i care for him but you know i think i've got my own life you got yours so... Yeah thats my thinking. But he choose to stick in the game and ask me to play for real now. And i said Yes. Then we married.

One thing i learned here, i never put someone else become the source of what inside me, i'm okay before someone come, and if they go i know i will be okay too. Of course i will be sad and cry, but people come to teached us something, they become a part of us, and if they go i hope for a better, and if they choose to stay, well i'll make sure its for the best of us. So... Let's focus on makes our self better, for people around us. Like Jim Rhon always said " not i will take care of you, but i will take care of me for you, so you can take care of you for me". Isn't wonderful... I think it is :)

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